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Sunday, November 09, 2003
well mark and i watched grosse pointe blank and it was an excellent movie...then we went to go eat and now im here...i have a killer headache...i dont know what from...i think imma go back to my apartment and sleep...so much for writing my paper...that sucks...i took some sex quizzes cuz i was bored...some of those results are posted below...ummm well yea thats it for now! hes the song of the day!
SugarCult-Pretty Girl
Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
And thats what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
She's beautiful as usual
With bruises on her ego and
Her killer instincts tell her to be aware of evil men
And thats what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
And thats what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of you head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love
Pretty girl, Pretty girl
Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get him out of your head
It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the wa
That he makes you fall in
Love
 Posted at 07:21 pm by adayathebeech
Sex quizzes....yea i was bored
You Are an EXPERT in Bed
You know precisely what you’re doing when the sheets are pulled down and the panties go right along with them. You’re also super confident, and rightly so. Because any man who may be fortunate enough to find himself between your legs is a happy man, indeed. You’re the type of woman men brag about in locker rooms: knowledgeable, adorable, and lickable. You’ve gotten to the point that you don’t even have to try so hard. It all just comes naturally: the mouth, the hips, everything underneath.
One lovely little package.
An unexpected bonus for just about every guy on the planet. He’s plowing you and you’re yelling for more.
Talk dirty, talk cheap, scream his name, scream complete gibberish. No matter. You are the Mariah Carey of the bedroom and he loves every fucking syllable that spews from your luscious mouth. Maybe you’re the "Mary the Librarian" type by day. But by night, honey, watch out.
The vocal chords let loose with everything your heart and mind have been thinking about all day long.
All sorts of guys long to hook up with you, but your standards are set high You don't just give it up to anyone, but when you do...they can't get enough of you! You have a knack for pleasing and receiving, and sex with you is never boring. Only problem is ~ they all seem to be falling in love with you...
You're extremely oral (like you didn't know that!) You love going down... on guys and girls! You're not one to be too naughty in public -You like to save it all for the bedroom.
You Are Slowly Undressing Someone!
Your foreplay is slow, seductive, and totally transparent.
When you want some, you take action! And you turn your lover completely on in the process. You've been known to undress with your teeth -And kiss all over. If it involves talent and time...Well, let's just say you have plenty of both
Your an Oral Master!
If going down were a class, you'd be an A+ student. You've been known to do anything- from deep throat to ass licking. Your oral can get almost anyone off....Too bad you're not flexible enough to try it on yourself!
Posted at 06:38 pm by adayathebeech
so last night was alotta fun.....my glass was never empty!!! it was great! there were alot of people there...everyone had a really good time...i wish i had my camera!!!!! stupid batteries...we played twister...that was interesting seeing as how i was wearing a skirt....and then lets see ooo well erm i did another bad thing last night...i tried the hippie lettuce for the first time...i really didnt like it though...ummm so needless to say i wont be doing that ever again...well nothing else to say really...but imma head on out cuz i gotta let marky in to my apartment so he can watch high fidelity...maybe that will motivate me to work on my paper....well have a great day everyone...ill add more to this later....
Posted at 02:11 pm by adayathebeech
so i know how you guys are dying to find out even more about me...so here ya go...
1. What facial feature do you find most attractive on others? Eyes
2. Have you had braces? no
3. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself? no
4. What is your favorite quote? "Dont ever comprimise what you believe" ~Kris Roe-The Ataris
5. Do you drink enough water? prolly not but i try to
6. Are you photogenic? sometimes
7. What is the most beautiful language? french
9. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most? i like sunrises becuase its a refreshing way to start a brand new day but i like sunsets but its a relaxing way to end your day
10. Do you want to live to be 100? if i am still healthy and still active
11. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair? ummm i mean whatever floats their boats man..
12. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most? well neither is very good for you in excess but i think id take sugary
13. Is a flat stomach important to you? no its not important...but i enjoy havin one
15. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs? well yea cuz i expect them to be tolerant of mine...i mean i might not agree with them...and ill state my belifes and why i disagree with theirs but ill be tolerant of them...
16.When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? off
17. Do you believe in magic? ummm no but its fun to watch
18. Do you have nightmares frequently?depends on what kinda mood im in...or if im stressed out ect.
19. Do you like your nose? sure?
20. Do you like abstract art? umm yea sure
21. Do you think you can draw well? nop
23. Do you like to watch cartoons? yea
25. How many pairs of shoes do you have in your closet? of shoes? that fit? prolly like 4 or 5 but sandals....i have more than 10 pair
26. Do you wear the same shoes everyday or do you like variety? i like to change it up a bit every once in awhile
27. Do you snore? i dont think so...if im sick maybe
28. Do you sleep on your back, front, or sides? sides
29. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? rottweiler
30. Do you lick stamps? i like the pre-stick ones but if i have to lick it i do
31. Do you use an electric can opener? no
33. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? prolly emotional
35. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed? yea
36. Do you prefer a piano or a violin? piano...ive played forever...played violin too but then quit
38. Do you know someone who has cancer? yea
39. Do you hunt? no
40. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants? depends on the occasion
41. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoo
42. Do you have a middle name? nope
43. Are you basically a happy person? for the most part
44. Are you tired? hell yea i am right now
45. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today? nope
46. How many phones do you have in your house? one
47. How long is your hair? used to be really long and then i got 8 inches chopped off and now its right at my shoulders
48. Do you get along with your parents? for the most part
49. What color of eyes do you prefer? bright blue
51. What medications do you take? none
52. What does your bedroom look like? well i have a studio apartment so ummm i dunno it looks like a living room...i dunno i like it
53. What are your wishes? i just want to be able to get a job witha good lawfirm and then hopefully find a guy that i can be happy with and get married to...and have kids
54. But if you could have one more wish come true, which wish would you wish for? i dunno
55. What's your purpose in life? to lead the best life that i can
56. If you could help anyone in the world, even give up something so precious to you, who would you help and why? umm well i just enjoy helping people in general....
57. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yea
58. Do you have a dream that keeps coming back? i used to but not nemore
59. Do you play an instrument? piano and i learning how to play guitar
60. Do you believe there is life on other planets? i dont see why there couldnt be
61. Do you read the newspaper? sometimes i glance through it
62. Do you have any gay or lesbian friends? yea
63. Do you believe in miracles? yeah
64. Do you consider yourself tolerant of cops? sure
65. Do you like the taste of alcohol? sure
66. Do you believe in astrology? as in horoscopes? ummm not really but they're fun to rea
67. Do you believe in magic? see above
68. Do you pray? sometimes
69. Do you go to church? yea
70. Do you have any secrets? yea
71. Do you have any pets? i have 2 dogs, a turtle, a fish, and a salamander
72. Do you plan to go to college? already here
73. What major? criminal justice/pre law
74. Do you talk to strangers who instant message you? sometimes
75. Do you wear hats? yea
76. Do you have piercings? two in my left ear one in my right my right eyebrow and my tongue
77. Do you hate yourself? no...but sometimes i get disapointed with myself
78. Do you wish on stars? sometimes for the hell of it...but it never comes true
79. Do you believe in ghosts? yea
80. Do you like sarcasm? no damit i hate it..what? i can be the queen of sarcasim at times...
81. Do you take walks in the rain? yes!!
- Current Clothes: jeans and a blue dress top
- Current Music: dashboard confessional
- Current Make-up: none
- Current Hair: down
- Current thing I ought to be doing: writing my forensic science paper
- Current Desktop Picture: a beach at sunset
- Current Favorite Artist: ummmm haha my mark minelli
- Current Favorite Group: something corporate
- Current Book: none
- Current CD in CD Player: the drive-thru records invasion tour
- Current tape in VCR: charlies angels
- Current Worry: that imma screw myself over this last half of the semester
- Age: 19
- Birthday : aug 21
- Eyes: dark brown
- Hair Color : natural is dark brown near black...but right now its a reddish color with bleach blonde highlights
- Obessions: music, and thats about it
LAST PERSON...
- You Touched: misia and i shook hands in church
- You Talked to: misia
- You Hugged: bob
- You Instant messaged: chris h.
- You Yelled At: i cant remember it was awhile ago
- You Kissed: chris c
- You Had a Crush on? chirs c
FAVORITE...
- Alltime Album: you cant make me choose!!!!!!
- Shoes: berks
- Movie: sandlot, shawshank, Finding Nemo, greenmile
- Song: sic transit glory..gloria fades by brand new and Konstantine by something corporate
- Cartoon: not sure..simpsons?
- Color: blue
- Sport: swimming and waterpolo
- Music: punk
- Food: not sure....pizza?
- Drink: non-alcoholic: go bannanas by snapple alcoholic-long island ice tea
- Store: pac sun and the thrift store
- Animal: dogs
- TV show: dont really watch tv but whos line is it anyway
ARE YOU...
- Open-minded: yea
- Interesting: sure
- Random: the monkeys were beating the elephant with bananas on a dark stormy dreary day in august...what?
- Independent: yea
- Organized: for the most par
- Emotionally Stable: ummm i can be for the most part i guess ia m
- Attractive: nope i dont think i am...but if ud like to see for yourself...theres a link to my pics..go check them out
- Single? if not who do you want to date? yea...the boy that i have a crush on from above...but hes not ready for a relationship right now so...i dunno
HAVE YOU EVER...
- Been kissed? yea
- How many times: a lot of times
- Done Drugs? i tried the hippie lettuce last night for the first time but umm i didnt like it
- Been on stage? yea
EITHER/OR...
- Neve Campbell / Jennifer Love Hewitt? jennifer?
- Tom Cruise/ Brad Pitt? brad pitt
- Oldies/ pop? oldies
- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? unn see above
- Do you have a best friend? yea leann
- Juice/ Pop: juice
- Summer/ Winter: summer
- Reading/Music: music
- Naked/ Dressed: naked ;)
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
- Cried? no
- Helped someone? yea
- Bought something? yea
- Said "I love you"? no
- Written a real letter? no
- Talked to an ex? no
- Missed an ex? no
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? no
- Had a serious talk? yea
. - Missed someone? yea
- Hugged someone? yea
- Fought with your parents? no
- Fought with a friend? no
- Gotten drunk? yes
Which one of your friends is/has....
- Your best? leann
- The best guy? chris h
- Loudest? anne
-Shyest? katie
- Craziest? all
-Sportyest? me im the shortest of everyone
-Dorkiest? none of them really
-Best Style? umm...leann
- Been your Enemy before? none of them
- Most attractive? geeze this is a tough choice....lets go with dan
- Weirdest? haha mark
- Known you the longest? leann
- Have you been in love? yea
- Trust the most? i have trust issues with people as in i dont..but i do trust leann
- Flirts the most? amanda
- Best singer? mark
- Makes me feel good about myself? all them do
- Kiss on the first date? it depends on the person i think...
- Have a crush on someone? i think this the third time ive been asked this and the answer hasnt changed
- If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would it be? it would be on my lower back a palm tree with a half moon half sun and stars in the background and a tiny beach
- If you got a piercing, where would you get it, and what would it look like? well i already have my ears, tounge, and eyebrow pierced, ummm maybe my industrial...which is the cartiladge and the side of the ear and a long barbell goes through both holes
- What was the last CD you bought? something corporate north
- What are you listening to/watching right now? im listening to saves the day watching nothing but the tv is on...i think misia is watching girls just wanna have fun
- Who are you thinking about right now? no one really
Posted at 01:57 pm by adayathebeech
Saturday, November 08, 2003
Boxcar Racer-There is
This vacations useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given alot of thought on this thirteen hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past eight or nine
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given alot of thought to those nights we used to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you but you swear you loved me more
Do you care if I don't know what to say?
Would you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off? pretend its all ok
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is
Thoes notes you've wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given alot of thought on how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message
About a boy that loves a girl
Do you care if I don't know what to say?
Would you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off? pretend its all ok
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is
 Posted at 06:57 pm by adayathebeech
so i have this thing with rubber ducks....haha ummm and i found this picture....wow..so i have that duck...wheres my hott man???  Posted at 06:00 pm by adayathebeech
erm so....last night i went to the bar after the whole escapade with chris...and leann and i got a lil bit tipsy....3 long island ice teas and a lemon drop shot...but i was still good to go!!! haha i was a dancing queen last night!!! yea right...more like a dancin fool!!! hahaha....i havent danced in forever...and it felt good to finally let loose...so there was this guy there...that i met ummm well the day that the cubs lost the chance to go to the world series....a sad day might i add....and well he kept starin at me....man what the hell are you lookin at....and everytime i looked over at him hed just smile....so finally i went over there...and stood next to him...haha i didnt say anything though...but he just kept on starin...i wanted to be like hey man if you got something to say say it...either that or stop starin at me cuz...it was creepin me out....hes kinda cute though...newho so then we went to clarks...that has got to be my favorite 24 hr place....and our waitress...she well she is a she....but...would make a really good lookin he...if she was a he...and she was a lil more built...but is built fine the way she is...but she has short hair...and the first time i saw her i thought she was a he...but when she talks she definetly is a she and not a he....haha got all that?? so anyway...she is a lesbian..or bi one of the two...nothing wrong with that...and well we were gettin ready to leave and i started singing to amanda...and this is how the diaolgue went:
Me: Have I told you latley that...
(She looks over at me)
She: Oh! I thought you were singing to me...
Me: Oh...sorry I have the tendancy to burst into song sometimes
She: No its alright..dont worry bout it
Me: That I love you...or well how bout this You are my sunshine...my only sunshine..
She: I love it when people sing...to me..
(I stop singing)
Me: Umm...so Leann and I are in here all the time
She: Yea I see you in here alot
Me: Yea...So whats your name?
She: Lauren...whats yours?
Me: Vanessa
Lauren: Well its nice to meet you
Me: Yea nice to mee you too
(Leann comes out from the bathroom)
Amanda: Yous guys ready to go?
Leann: Yea
Me: Sure im down
Lauren: Well have a good night guys....you can sing to me anytime..
Me: Yea...have a good night
So i was a little weirded out by Lauren..ummm yea....erm...yea...i have a forensic science paper due on tuesday..and yes i actually started it today! im proud of myself...granted i only did a paragraph...but thats alright...at least i started it...oo and have i mentioned i havent talked to jason in ummm well two weeks?? yea im proud of myself for that to...the only reason why i mention it is cuz he just got online....sooo tonight! what is going down toinght! ill tell ya whats goin down....we are goin to a rock star party!!! oh yes!!! im going to put on a really pretty dress and try to make myself look pretty with pounds of makeup...and imma be a diva...hahaha....yes! go me...ummm so leann stayed the night last night...cuz i didnt want her driving home...she left about ummm an hr ago...haha she attmpted to parallel park this morning and ummm well out popped her front head light...haha opps...ok well i mean its not all that funny...well we found it entertaining at the time...im going to be purchasing batteries for my digi...so i can take pictures at the rock star party tonight...lol it should be fun!!!!! im kinda excited....hmmm but right now i gotta focus on gettin this forensic science paper done...THEN i can go party...erm...yea...party...geeze...im pathetic arent i...yes yes i am...erm well im kinda bored but i dont wanna go back to my apartment yet...cuz if i do ill just sleep...and i was already a lazy ass all day today...so ummm what can i do...well lets see...ill find a song of the day....
Posted at 05:53 pm by adayathebeech
Friday, November 07, 2003
so i was going to post this list of lifes unanswered questions...it was a very humorous list...but blogdrive was actin up so...i saved it....it was pretty boring neway cuz at that point in time i had absolutley nothing to say...so i guess that post will be saved for a later date....
so last night i smoked my fifth and last cigarette....maybe it was cuz my stomach was empty....maybe its cuz i smoked it to fast..but i got sooo light headed and i felt soooo sick to my stomach....that i never wanna do it ever again!!!!!! boo to smoking!
today well was pretty boring...i only went to one class...yea im an asshole...and then lets see i went to eat lunch then dinner...and then i ended up here...and then well ok so lemme break it down for you right here...last semester i met this boy named chris...on the shuttle bus to the other campus...we started talkin about lax...cuz he had his stuff with him...and yea i just started a conversation with him...not to mention he was pretty cute...so yea then it was just whenever we saw eachother around campus wed say hey or somethin...then this year i dunno he and i started talking more often...and we talked about relationships...and he said that he knows hes not ready right now..becuase he doesnt have the time...and if he cant put in his all then he doesnt want to do it...understandable....so i mean thats cool cuz i knew ahead of time...which means that i wouldnt end up hurt in the end...but i still like the kid...thats all fine and dandy...seriously it is...becuase i now get to know him better ya know?? like really get to know him...and so he gave me his phone number to call him...and i was nervous too...cuz he was a lil tipsy when he gave it to me...even though he remembers giving it to me...i still wasnt sure if he wanted me to call him....so he had an away msg up today that said that if anyone wanted to go with him to see the matrix to let him know...so i left a msg..we had been talkin earlier i told him to call me...well my phone was bein retarded...so i called him and well we ended up goin to the movies...just the two of us....haha well then we get to the movies ALL of the shows were sold out...so that sucked cuz we didnt get to see it...so instead we went to baja fresco...where i proceeded to tell him basically my life story...what the fuck is wrong with you vanessa? geeze...i have never done that in my entire life...well ok only to leann...but geeze....i must have bored him to death...i dunno...now im all weirded out cuz i spilled my guts to him...and i mean we talk...but never like this...and it was just odd..for me...and well prolly for him too....but i dunno he thanked me...for being able to trust him enough to spill to him like that...and i mean dont get me wrong...it felt good to be able to do that...and trust him enough to be able to do that...but it just creeps me out....cuz umm vanessa doesnt do that!!!! so now im going to try not to be weird around him...because hi he knows my life story....so weird...so weird...but ummm i rambled alot here...and haha i spill my guts to this thing everyday...for millions ok well maybe not millions...well yea but millions wouldnt read this...but potential millions to read...i feel more comfortable here...cuz i cant see the people that im spilling too...and even though you find out alot about me through here...you still never really get the full story...because i still with hold alot...even from this....erm well neway...i should prolly be headed back to my room right about now cuz leann should be arriving shortly...so everyone have a wonderful night...ummm song of the day....lemme see here...ooo i got a good one
Finch-Ender
Here I am beside myself again.
I'm torn apart by words that you have said.
And all in all,
I know we're falling apart.
Where did you run to so far away?
Here we are to sing you a song.
There you are asleep against the window pane
just like always.
You said you like to hear the rain sometimes.
And all I can do is tell you the truth.
And oh, my eyes will tell you the same.
Here we are to sing you a song.
There you are asleep again.
Grasp our hands together,
we feel we are one result.
And here we are to sing you a song.
And there you are asleep again...
these guys are an awesome band!!!
peace out everyone..
Posted at 10:48 pm by adayathebeech
Thursday, November 06, 2003
so you wanna know what makes me tick?
Dashboard Confessional-Saints and Sailors
This is where I say I've had enough
and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound,
a trophy display of bruises
and I don't believe that I'm getting any better.
Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.
Wandering the house
like I've never wanted out
and this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do.
So don't be a liar,
don't say that "everything's working"
when everything's broken.
And you smile like a saint
but you curse like a sailor
and your eyes say the joke's on me.
What a gorgeous man....this is my theme song...to bad i just wrote an entire blog and it got deleted...sigh....so i guess basically i dunno i just was asked a very interesting question by loveisachoice...she asked me...what is your story?? what makes you you?? wow thats a good question...read my poem below...and then read the song above...basically describes me in a nutshell...im a very introverted person when it comes to my feelings and my emotions i keep it all inside...but im a big extrovert...when it comes to everything else...im a difficult person to figure out...and very few...well one person truly knows me inside and out...and thats leann...im to scared to let neone get to close to me in fear of being hurt...but shes been through it all with me....sigh...i might not show much of my emotions and what not...but im always there for those who need me...especially my friends and family...and well my non-existent significant other...i give my all for those people...they know that i will be there for them no matter what...they can count on me...i give so much of myself ....i guess i neglect myself sometimes...eh well...i dunno....so you wanna know what makes me me?? well ill give u a tiny look at the depths of vanessa's soul, and mind....i guess alot of the things that make me me are the terrible things that have happened to me...the reason why not many people know about whats inside...is beacuse i store it there so that i not so much forget about it completley but so that its not always at the forefront of my mind...because its over, its done, ive learned from it and moved on, become a better and stronger person from it...so just some of the things that immediatley come to the front are....the death of five of my friends...all which occured within a month and a half of eachother.....the constant thought that i was partially responsible for a two and a half year olds death....even though i know i wasnt...it still eats at me....and then just all the things that have happened to me the abuse that i went through when i was a child...and then just recently as well...i guess all those things make me who i am....and yea i mean there are good thigns too...but i guess i just tend to remember the bad things...more than the good....sigh...i dunno...neway...enough of this ....stuff....
so yesterday i did a bad bad thing....yes a bad thing....i smoked my very first cigarette...erm...well not just one though...how about four...yea i smoked four cigarettes yesterday....but ummm...im not planning on doing it ever again...the whole you only live once thing i guess...i tried it and now its outta my system...haha and i bet all of you are like well yea try once but not four times geeze whats wrong with you...well lemme explain what went on...so leann gave me my first one...it was a camel...just you know your regular cig....then i had a clove...mint flavored or something...then a cherry one...well then two cherry ones....yea so its outta my system though...neway....leann is on her way up...and then its off to the bar...again...*rolls her eyes*....eh well what are you gonna do....its not like i drink everytime i go there....i swear i really dont....i just like the atmosphere...haha its kinda like a cheers...where everyone knows your name...haha neway well everyone have a good night....cheers... Posted at 08:53 pm by adayathebeech
mask
i wear a mask for all to see
a happy face always smiling
when inside im really dying
no one knows the real me
you think you might
you think you do
but i can tell you
that you never will
that you never want to
because what i feel inside
could kill a man a thousand times over
its killed me a thousand times over
i hate how i feel inside
i want to let it all out
but im to scared to try
im scared to let people get to close
afraid they'll hate what they see
afraid they'll run away in fear
im scared to let people see the real me
i wear a mask for all to see
a happy face always smiling
when inside im really dying
no one knows the real me Posted at 06:52 pm by adayathebeech
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